We all have many important decisions to make in life. What to do about an unplanned pregnancy is an important and common decision faced by women. In fact, about half of all women in the U.S. have an unplanned pregnancy at some point in their lives. About 6 out of 10 women with unplanned pregnancies decide to continue their pregnancies. (Nearly half of pregnancies among American women are unintended, and about four in 10 of these are terminated by abortion. Twenty-two percent of all pregnancies (excluding miscarriages) end in abortion. Live Action has reported that over 35% of PP’s income comes from abortion and that PP lies about the famous 3%.)
Every woman's situation is different, and only you can decide what is best in your case. If you're trying to decide if parenting is the right option for you, you may find it helpful to list the advantages and disadvantages of having a child. Think about what advantages or disadvantages are most important to you. (Notice they immediately begin to implant the idea that this concerns only one person-- the woman. What about the father? More importantly, what about the human being growing in her womb?) Consider your feelings and values about raising a child, and what you want for your life and for your family or future family.
Some Things to Ask Yourself If You Are Thinking About Raising a Child
Am I ready to help a child feel wanted and loved?
(NO parent is ready to do that all the time. We learn to do it over time as we develop a relationship with our children and remain committed to them.)
Am I ready to cope with a tighter budget, less time for myself, and more stress?
(Gee, where do I sign up?)
Do I have the support of family and friends?
(Do I NEED the support of family and friends? If I don't have it, seems to me I might need new friends and some space from my family.)
Am I ready to accept responsibility for all my child's needs?
(Don't know a single parent who is without kicking and screaming.)
Would I prefer to have a child at another time?
(Anyone with 3+ kids will tell you-- there is NEVER a convenient time to have a baby. Only a panic attack. And yet.... it always works out exactly as it should.)
Is anyone pressuring me to continue or end the pregnancy?
(me, me, me, me, me blah blah blah blah blah)
How do I feel about other women who have children from unplanned pregnancies?
(Let's try this instead: "Does it matter how I feel, or should I change my attitude?")
Can I afford to have a child?
(No one can. And yet we all find what we need to do it.)
What would it mean for my future and my family's future if I had a child now?
(You already have a child. In your womb. Which they would like you to exterminate.)
How important is it to me what other people will think about my decision?
(Again, does it matter?)
Can I handle the experience of pregnancy and raising a child?
(I dare you to find me a mother who retrospectively couldn't. Each of these questions is so subtle but so manipulative.)
If you are already a parent, ask yourself how bringing another child into your family will affect your other children.
(Again with the big lies. Other children are ALWAYS happy to have a new addition. Unless we make them hate the idea by spazzing over whether they are jealous or not. Children are naturally overjoyed to have more children around, that's just how they operate.)
Think about what your answers mean to you. You may (MAY??? I MAY??) want to discuss your answers with your partner, someone in your family, a friend, a trusted religious adviser, or a counselor.
What Are Some of the Advantages and Disadvantages of Parenting?
Though parenting is hard work, it brings many rewards. Being a parent can be exciting and deeply rewarding. It can help you grow, understand yourself better, and enhance your life. (More of the me-me-mes. How about parenting helps other people grow, understand THEMSELVES better, and enhances THEIR lives?? Who are these insanely selfish women they are writing to??) Parents can feel delight at their child's accomplishments and the love and bond they share. (Are all parents associated with planned parenthood having babies to feel good and experience love??) Many people say that parenting brings great happiness and a deeper understanding of themselves.
But (here it comes!) parents often give up a lot for their children. Meeting a child's needs can be very challenging. Parents deal with less sleep and less time to do the things they need and want to do. Having a baby is expensive, (pure fabrication. Having a baby is practically free... they don't need all the junk people go crazy for in babies-R-us. Just a place to lay their heads.... like Jesus.) and many people find it hard to support their children. (well, yeah. Since they are raising kids who want EVERYTHING, just like mom.) Having children can also put a parent's school plans or career on hold. (But doesn't have to!)
Many people find that having a child can test even the strongest relationship. And if you are single parenting, you may find it more difficult to find and keep a relationship. (Well, who wants an untested, untried relationship???)
If you already have children, you know firsthand both the joys and challenges parenting can bring. A child will change your life, whether it is your first child or not. If you don't have any children, talking with other parents about their daily lives with their children may help give you an idea about what you could expect.
Who Can Help Me Decide?
Most women look to their husbands, partners, families, health care providers, clergy, or someone else they trust for support as they make their decision about an unplanned pregnancy. Even though the decision about what to do about your pregnancy is up to you, most women find they'd also like to talk with trusted people in their lives to help them make up their minds.
If you need help deciding, specially trained educators at women's health clinics — like your Planned Parenthood health center — (there's the bait!) can talk it through with you. They can talk with you in private or you may bring someone with you if you wish. When looking for someone to talk with about your options, beware of so-called "crisis pregnancy centers." They are run by people who are against abortion, and who will not give you information about all of your options. (in other words--- look out for the people who will try to convince you that abortion isn't a good choice. o.O)
Whether you choose adoption or to become a parent, if there is a chance that you will continue the pregnancy, you should begin prenatal care as soon as possible. You should have a medical exam early in your pregnancy — and regularly throughout your pregnancy — to make sure that you are healthy and the pregnancy is normal. (planned parenthood can't help you there, right?)
Even though most women have safe and healthy pregnancies, there are certain risks of pregnancy for a woman. They range from discomforts, such as nausea, fatigue, and aches and pains, to more serious risks, such as blood clots, high blood pressure, and diabetes. In extremely rare cases, complications can be fatal. That's why early and regular prenatal care is very important. (Sure, let's go ahead and scare them off with the idea of imminent death and disease)
It may be important to take your time and think carefully about your decision. But you may not want to wait too long. If you are considering abortion, you should know that abortion is very safe, but the risks increase the longer a pregnancy goes on. (Lets hurry up and abort this baby! I've got a long line here. Pressure, pressure, pressure. The abortion pill, given in the EARLY stages, can be fatal. But they don't want to tell you that.)
Can I Meet a Child's Needs?
Children have many needs. Your child will depend on you — for food, shelter, safety, affection, and guidance.
Parenting requires lots of love, energy, and patience. It is often complicated and frustrating. Your child's needs will constantly change and so will your ability to meet those needs. There will be times when you may feel that you are not doing a good job at parenting. To feel good about being a parent, it must be what you want to do — for a long time.
(Really? Because every mother-of-many I know who has embraced her vocation as wife and mother will be the first to tell you that they wake up daily wondering how in the world they are going to do it all and how long it would take the family to notice if they sneak out the window.... And then they get up and do it all. Because they are heroes. And who doesn't want to be a hero?)
If you are thinking about becoming a parent, you may wonder if you are prepared. Do you have what you might need to take care of a child?
Time — children can put your school plans or career on hold. (negative)
Energy and care — children need parents who are loving, patient, and flexible. (and honest-- because no one is loving, patient and flexible all the time)
Planning — having children takes daily planning, as well as long-term planning for the next stages of the child's life. (Uh, no. It takes creativity and a good survival instinct. Which gets developped over time and with practice. The planners are the moms who take years to adjust to motherhood. Wrong again, PP.)
Material things and money — children need clothes, diapers, food, and health care, and they often need day care. (No they don't!! This is one of the biggest lies I hear all the time. Children need a place to lay their heads. Cloth diapers cost practically nothing. God made us to be able to breastfeed-- food costs practically nothing. Good hygiene, safety and nutrition will reduce the need for medical care and a day care? Are you kidding me? No one NEEDS a daycare. They just want one.)
Parenting is hard work — (way to stay positive!) whether you are single and parenting or parenting with a partner, and whether it is your first child or another child in the family. A child requires nonstop care, and having a partner or other family member to share the work of parenting can make the job much easier. (isolation technique for moms with no significant other or support. PP is NOT your friend. )
New parents, whether they are single or in a couple, need support from lots of places. Worries about money and time are common for parents, and every family needs support now and then. Sometimes that might be grocery shopping, hand-me-down clothes, babysitting time, or just someone to talk with.
Many people find themselves single parenting, or choose to become single parents. (??!) Single parenting can be very challenging, but it's certainly not impossible.
If you're thinking of single parenting, talk with family and friends about the help you will need. Find out how much time, energy, and money the people in your life are willing to give to you and your baby. If you will need money, be realistic about how much your friends and family can give. Some people will be able to help a lot, while others will be only able to help a little. If you need government support, keep in mind that it will only cover part of what you will need. (again with the positives!)
But being a single parent has its advantages, too. Because you will not have to make compromises with a partner, you can raise the child as you wish — with your values, principles, and beliefs. (unebelievably sneaky way to implant into women the idea that their partner gets in their way and is a burden. Like we women need help in this department.)
Parenting With a Partner
A partnership can provide parents with much-needed support. Many couples find great satisfaction in sharing the responsibility of raising a child. They find their love and commitment to each other is made deeper by their shared love for their child.
However, parenting can also put stress on relationships. Parents may disagree about what is best for a child. If you have a baby, your relationship with your partner will change. Joint parenting takes good communication and a solid commitment in hard times. (Hard times which can be overcome.)
When Extra Support Is Needed
Women often have a wide range of emotions after giving birth. The joy of a new baby can be mixed with feelings of sadness and anxiety, and feelings of being overwhelmed. Childbirth causes sudden shifts in hormones that can cause these feelings. You may need some extra support if you suffer from the "baby blues"during your baby's first few days or weeks.
Long-term depression is more common if a woman has a history of emotional problems or if she does not have supportive people in her life. Women should seek help from a health care provider or counselor if depression lasts more than two weeks or keeps them from doing what they need to do each day. (Here we go with the mental illness angle. Mothering creates mental illness. Mhmmmmm. Ok then.)
Overall, having lots of support from other people will be a big help to you if you decide to become a parent. Thinking about how much support you can expect from other people can be very important as you decide what to do about an unplanned pregnancy. (as you can see.... Planned Parenthood doesn't want people to choose parenthood.)
Another website, the National Abortion Federation, has a similar page. Even more appalling, here is how it's overview of parenting opens:
"Parenthood means that you are choosing to carry the pregnancy to term and to raise your child. It is important that you fully consider all of your options when making this decision. Becoming a parent means that you are financially, legally, physically, and emotionally responsible for the upbringing of your child until adulthood. When you decide to become a parent you are choosing to embark on an experience that many find enriching and life-affirming but also difficult in many ways (...) " The website goes on to recommend a visit to Planned Parenthood for safe, honest, and accurate information about parenthood. REALLY?
Are you starting to get a picture here?? These people don't want you to become parents. They want you to FEAR parenthood, and to fail at it if you attempt it. Free your minds..... fight the propaganda. The bottom line is that parenting is the HARDEST thing you will do in your life. But it's also the most rewarding. No parent is ever "ready" for what lies ahead. You become ready by asking for the grace you need each day to overcome whatever difficulties life hands your way. No parent has the resources, patience, strength, abilities, and knowledge they need starting out in the journey to parenthood. These things come as you hope, pray, dream, beg for help, and learn to cope.
That mom you see piling 12 kids into her bus at Target is not made of different material than you. She is not a mutant, a martian, or an anomaly. She is fully alive... accepting that suffering and living for others is part of the human experience-- and often the most rewarding part because it brings so much purity, joy, and clarity.
Parenthood is about learning to overcome. About driving on. About doing it all for the sake of the future and the good of society. These same people who are advocating abortion are the ones out there promoting parenting ideas that reject notions of right and wrong, traditional values, and all of the things which are designed to help us along the way. Planned Parenthood wants us to kill our children and utterly destroy them if we don't kill them.
Make no mistake: a new child always brings a hope for the future with him when he arrives. He brings with him the resources his parents need to raise him, whatever the situation.
In my OB office, there is a sign above the ultrasound machine that reads: "a child is God's way of saying that life will go on."