Mind Blown!

AN IMPRESSION.

I have been asked to try and recall any memories I may have of Miss Mason and I have attempted once or twice to write something adequate but have failed miserably. Time and events from the outside seem to have made a long leap from the days when I first worked for the P.N.E.U.

But a picture of a certain Sunday in Advent, though it must be twenty odd years ago, rises to my mind and is as fresh as if it had occurred yesterday. It was my first visit to Ambleside as appointed, or provisionally appointed Secretary to the London Office. I was horribly frightened (I had only arrived the night before) the students knew so much more than I did--I had no training--nothing but a hope that I might possibly be the right person for the job. Miss Mason I was told had talks with her students on Sunday afternoons. We assembled in the drawing room, it looked so countrified to my London eyes, and the trunk and branches of a cherry tree outside the window held my attention--as well as the portrait of Matthew Arnold on the wall. Trees and Arnold might help me I thought to keep my nervousness within bounds. I remember Miss Mason and her gentle smile and voice as she explained my presence to the others there. The actual words of her talk I have forgotten, but I hope not the spirit. "That thoughts out of many hearts may be revealed" was the stone upon which she built a complete" house of education" for us that afternoon--explaining how thoughts could be translated into action when revealed, and like young plants bear fruit in due season in the lives of the young children who were to carry on the work.

I have since looked up this text on which the little sermon was built and find I had underlined the words following "There was one Anna a prophetess." Surely something then had moved me to connect the two ideas. Had I realized dimly at this first meeting, that a prophetess was speaking, and that slowly and surely her prophecies would be fulfilled? That she was then revealing to a little handful of her followers something of that wealth of though which she was depending upon us to translate into action?

[084]

I know I hoped sincerely that I might bear my part in the good cause.

Ms. Mason was gifted in many ways, but in none I think more than in her power of inspiring others with ideas, and ideas fundamentally so sound, that those who were able to work them out, felt that they must originate in truth--so often ideas are inspiring for a time, but having little actuality, little relation with facts--they do not live to bear fruit. We can all say of Ms. Mason's work for children and true education, that it dealt with those primary conceptions of the tense value of every human soul that nothing of God's gifts given direct by God Himself, or through the instrument of his creatures could be too good for it. I think I had the impression that this was the thought in her heart that Sunday that she was revealing to us, and that we on our part were earnestly desiring that it might be the spirit in which the work could be accomplished and the only way in which it could ever be accomplished. This must have been so for I find marked with the same date, "Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings." Whether I elaborated the idea for myself, or whether Ms. Mason did for me, I am after this long stretch of years unable to tell. The train of thought was continued somehow to its conclusion. If we were able to reveal the thoughts in our hearts to the children, they would so express themselves that we could not fail to recognise the source from which all inspiration and good thoughts come, that are only truly revealed in "that perfected praise" which is the inherited gift of the children of God.

This little sermon, if I may call it so, has recurred to my mind over and over again and I have written it out as best I may--as a very small tribute to the memory of one for whom I had and have a very profound admiration.
Frances Chesterton.(wife of GK Chesterton)

The Habit of Attention

The habit of attention has come up often, lately.

Insofar as it is useful to us to teach our children the habit of attention so that their schoolwork does not suffer, it is understandable that Charlotte Mason would have considered it one of the top three habits to instill.
With it, our children will not dawdle or waste time during lessons. They will read for instruction the first time. They will know how to obey and follow directions. They will make the necessary connections and become keen observers. They will self-educate, which is our goal, after all.

Lately, though, I have witnessed ways in which a life lacking the habit of attention is detrimental in other ways, both to the person living it and to the people who must share the planet with him.
There is a lot of talk about attention deficit disorder, for example, and many distressed parents of medicated children with ADD/ADHD diagnoses who are difficult to handle both in class and at home.

I've always been somewhat skeptical of ADD/ADHD claims because I'm from a country that doesn't really acknowledge its existence. (For more on that, see a great article here.)

I am often struck by the truthfulness of the above-linked article when I compare my experiences growing up in France and the average American experience of most children. In France, we had routine, we had order, we had plentiful time outdoors and excellent food. We took our time to do everything (to eat, to sleep, and to work.) Here everyone appears to rush around incessantly and then collapse and medicate from the stress.
Whereas French babies enjoyed long nature walks, American babies are almost immediately plopped into any number of gadgets or toys that soothe or entertain.

Most moms I know don't believe me when I tell them that my children have virtually NO battery operated toys, and that my infants have only a bed and a pack and play. I've even struggled with the idea myself.... believing that it would be much easier to have these objects to entertain my little ones, even using them from time to time. This latest baby, our fourth, however, has not at all had the luxury of experiencing these things. In fact, I set her down inside a baby bouncer  the other day at  a friend's house and realized that-- at ten months-- it was the first time she was having the experience of "plastic play."

"What do you do with them all day?" People ask me, incredulous, trying to imagine a world in which there are no baby swings, entertainment centers, floor mats, and jumpers.
And yet-- that world is out there. And it is glorious!

Below is an interesting link which demonstrates how using Charlotte Mason's ideas can help cure the ADD/ADHD epidemic (one which, in cultures that value outdoor time and face-to-face conversation, is far less concerning.)

A Cure for ADHD? from Media Talk 101 on Vimeo.


It goes without saying that the amount of screen time our children get and the quality of the books they read, as well as their environment (slow paced, peaceful lifestyle vs modern rushing from place to place) also plays a part. (See: Captivated.) Obviously, these things have an effect.

But even this-- a medicated child, a child with challenges focusing--- well, it doesn't seem like the complete end of the world, does it? I mean, there are lots of people out there who genuinely struggle with the habit of attention and who are doing just fine in other ways, right?

But there is also another element to the habit of attention and it's necessity that pops up in my house all the time.

 You see, my husband is a firefighter, and his job is to rush into danger.
While we are home, and he is at work, my children and I are praying for his safety every moment. Our hearts skip a beat when we hear sirens go by and a tweet or news alert in my inbox can send me over the edge. A phone call late at night when he is on shift, or a car near our driveway, can set our hearts aflutter.

Some of the kinds of things my husband might do on any given regular workday includes putting out fires and going in to rescue people trapped inside, going on rescue missions when people are lost or missing, and going to the scenes of accidents, emergencies, explosions, or bouts of domestic violence or terrorism. When he goes there, he will almost always find a chaotic scene waiting for him. Ash, blood, bone, guts, burning flesh, urine, feces, and vomit are the substances he works with daily. Fear, terror, anger, and unthinkable violence are emotions he encounters often at work.
It's a stressful, heartbreaking kind of job for him, but not for those reasons.
It is hard for him because there's another kind of emotion he encounters almost daily: apathy. And he can't stand it.

Apathy, and inattention, are the source of many situations our emergency personnel face daily. Inattention (either neglectful or intentional) cause personal injuries, accidents, fires, and other endangerments too numerous to mention. In fact, hardly a day goes by that our family doesn't hear, upon his return home from a shift, of a story or situation that he was sent in to help at where the source of the problem was someone's inattention.

He will tell you, and so will I, that we embrace Charlotte's emphasis on attention because (a) a child cannot obey if s/he doesn't know what to do, (b) a child cannot tell the truth if s/he doesn't know what the truth is, exactly, and (c) inattention is a great evil--- it's the opposite of diligence, and akin to ingratitude.

So what are some ways to build the habit of attention? Here are some ideas that have worked for us (and it does help, we are convinced, that we started young. My oldest, who I really hammered with this habit, is capable of pointing out the most minute details, finds bird's nests in the most astonishing places, etc.)

1. Frequently point out the results of inattention,  or better yet--  let the child discover them.
2. Do nature study often.
3. Train through games ("what did you see?" "which hand is it in?")
4. Unplug. Turn off anything with a screen and get outside (CM recommended 4-6 hours PER DAY.)
5. Allow natural consequences.
6. Go back and read Charlotte herself on this habit.

Charlotte's ideas revolved around encouraging the child to use his will to develop the habit of attention, intentionally.

Let him know what the real difficulty is, how it is the nature of his mind to be incessantly thinking, but how the thoughts, if left to themselves, will always run off from one thing to another, and that the struggle and the victory required of him is to fix his thoughts upon the task at hand

Be on the watch from the beginning against the formation of the contrary habit of inattention

It is the mother’s part to supplement the child’s quick observing faculty with the habit of attention. She must see to it that he does not flit from this to that, but looks long enough at one thing to get a real acquaintance with it.
The mother will contrive ways to invest every object in the child’s world with interest and delight.
Even the child who has gained the habit of attention to things, finds words a weariness.

UH OH. Stop there. Did you catch that? Moms, are we talking TOO much?? Are we-- gasp--- nagging?

Instead, establish a time-table (schedule)

Never let the child dawdle over copybook or sum.. when a child grows stupid over a lesson, it is time to put it away. Let him do another lesson as unlike the last as possible, and then go back with freshened wits to the unfinished task.
The child knows what he has to do and how long each lesson is to last. This idea of definite work to be finished in a given time is valuable to the child, not only as training him in habits of order, but in diligence.

Second, use her method of short, focused lessons in which perfect execution is the standard.

Lessons are short, seldom more than twenty minutes in length for children under eight; and this for two or three reasons. The sense that there is not much time for his sums or his reading, keeps the child’s wits on the alert and helps to fix his attention; he has time to learn just so much of any one subject as it is good for him to take in at once: and if the lessons be judiciously alternated- sums first, say while the brain is quite fresh; then writing, or reading-some more or less mechanical exercise, by way of a rest; and so on, the program varying a little from day to day, but the same principle throughout- a ‘thinking’ lesson first, and a ‘painstaking’ lesson to follow,- the child gets through his morning lessons without any sign of weariness.

Third , remember that the secret to habits is motivation and repetition.

Reward the child for attention-- with the natural consequence: leisure time.

A further stimulus may be necessary to secure the attention of the child... in the shape of a reward to secure his utmost efforts...they should be the natural consequences of his good conduct.
Of work done well & quickly....the enjoyment of ample leisure 

and allow natural consequences to be a punishment of their own, as well.

There is a law by which all rewards and punishments should be regulated: they should be the natural, or at any rate, the relative consequences of conduct; should imitate, as nearly as may be without injury to the child, the treatment which such and such conduct deserves and receives in after life.
She must consider with herself what fault of disposition the child’s misbehavior springs from; she must aim her punishment at that fault, and must brace herself to see her child suffer present loss for his lasting gain.

Then repeat, repeat, repeat, and repeat again, without nagging.

In my family, we set aside a time for studying virtue and good habits-- We select one a month to focus on, and then we hammer it.... telling stories that teach  it, demonstrating it in nature when we see it, and reading about saints who carefully cultivated it.

Paying attention saves lives, saves relationships, saves academics. It's so worth it.

Laying down our own rails.

Some grown-up reading

Right now I'm reading....

Daily:

Thomas Dubay's Fire Within
The Bible
The Catechism of the Catholic Church

In addition to reading aloud to my children weekly in the following subjects, right now I'm reading:

Mondays (Science and Nature Study)- The handbook of Nature Study
Tuesdays (Literature, Poetry and Shakespeare)- Jane Eyre, the Oxford Book of English Verse, and Shakespeare's King Lear
Wednesdays (Geography and Travel) -Peeps at Many Lands Ancient Egypt
Thursdays (Salvation History)- Scotland's Story and A History of the American People
Fridays (Fine Arts and Philosophy)- Bertrand Russel's The Problems of Philosophy
Saturday (Torah and Plutarch) - Salvation is from the Jews and Plutarch
Sunday (Gospel and Good Works) - Scale How Meditations

What about you?

Khalil Gibran on Friendship.

Your friend is your needs answered.
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
And he is your board and your fireside.
For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.


When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor do you withhold the "ay."
And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;
For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.
When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.
And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.
For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.


And let your best be for your friend.
If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.
For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

-- Khalil Gibran

Happy birthday to the love of my life, my dearest friend, my husband, Appian.

Baby Mockingbird rescue

Found this little guy stuck in our garage. 

We put him back in his nest.... we think he's a mockingbird, and his mommy almost immediately started feeding him again. Thank goodness! We were worried.

Here is one of his brothers a few days later, hopping around getting used to his new freedom. :)

A parent's education

Yesterday, a friend posted a beautiful picture of--- her husband's bathroom reading. :) It made me laugh, but I could relate-- they are a CM house, and so as parents, read they must!

I've read a lot about parents following along with Ambleside for their own education and I love to hear about it. I was fortunate enough to be raised by parents who are also educators, and for that reason I have been surrounded by truth and beauty all of my life.

At the same time, I agree that one of  the most appealing aspects of a CM education is that parents and children are experiencing life side-by-side and learning-- at their own level, of course, but also in a way that enables them to interact together with the material being covered.

So with that in mind I would like to give you some ideas of ways you as a parent can benefit from educating your own children the CM way. Below you will find a few examples of books we are reading as adults to join in the conversation between our own children and Those Who Have Gone Before.

In the mornings, my children study Catechism. I've said before that our Catechism lessons follow a set order, and I try to follow along with that same theme myself.

On Mondays, they learn a Catechism lesson from a well-written textbook and narrate it. The following six days they recite the Questions and Answers to memorize that relate to their lesson, until they are ingrained in their memory. I do the same with my own copy of the Catechism, reading at my own level on Monday morning before the kids get up and working on memorizing my own sections throughout the week. That way when the kids hit me with a tough theological question, I've got ready-made answers already memorized to help explain the tough stuff.
I then add some living books-- namely biographies of saints. I read these along with my kids, but before the day begins, I also read up on the day's saint, and journal a bit. As they wake up, they join me--- by that time, I've learned enough to mention a few facts about that particular saint, which they enjoy listening to and drawing about in their own journals.

For math, I just stay a bit ahead of them, pre-reading a lesson or two in advance to ensure I know where we are leading.

For grammar, I take great pleasure in testing myself and reciting along with them as they learn the rules. If mom's doing it too, it makes it a lot more fun to see who can do it best!

For literature, I'm quite satisfied reading along with them because we select wonderful literature for them to read! But I do make sure to check out a poem a day from The Oxford Book of English Verse when they are done reading from the Oxford Book of Children's Verse. For foreign languages, I am enjoying the refreshers from teaching the kids Latin and French.

For science, I too record any notes I might find amazing about what I see outside. I too will draw along with them and fill up my "knower" with all sorts of fun science facts. I also read from the Handbook of Nature Study so that I know how to casually name-drop new friends... birds and insects, trees and bees.

For history, I pre-read most of their books, and I make sure to read stuff on my own level and narrate it to my husband when he has the time to listen. I also keep my own book of centuries, which for now my children can observe until they are old enough to do their own.

For fine arts, I too am learning to play an instrument, to use my voice, to memorize names of beautiful pieces of art and music, and to read sheet music.

For Shakespeare and Plutarch, when my children read from a re-telling, I read from the original.

And those are just some small and simple ways to join them on the journey. Taking on these practices is so much more meaningful than throwing a workbook at them and calculating a grade. It ensures not only that the child grasps the information, but also that the parents and children are enjoying life together and all that it has to offer. That they are growing together, or rather, side-by-side. That they are building memories that make a family.

This is the core of why Charlotte's methods are amazing-- everyone must be on board, and work together to create the atmosphere of education.

Song of Saul Before His Last Battle

WARRIORS and chiefs! should the shaft or the sword
Pierce me in leading the host of the Lord,
Heed not the corse, though a king’s in your path:
Bury your steel in the bosoms of Gath!

Thou who art bearing my buckler and bow,
Should the soldiers of Saul look away from the foe,
Stretch me that moment in blood at thy feet!
Mine be the doom which they dared not to meet.

Farewell to others, but never we part,
Heir to my royalty, son of my heart!
Bright is the diadem, boundless the sway,
Or kingly the death, which awaits us to-day!

-- Lord Byron (1788-1824)

On teaching Catechism

Charlotte Mason taught Catechism.

Lately I've been reading a lot from CM enthusiasts about just how to do that. Because CM families come from far and wide across all denominational lines, there are many ways people have implemented her ideas without a formal catechism, but as a lifelong member of the Church of England, Charlotte read, memorized, taught, and understood much of what she grasped from a formal Catechism in question-and-answer format as well as regular Bible reading, just like a Catholic.

And although her theology may have been lacking from a Catholic perspective, her concern was not with the lofty debates of doctrine, but with being good, and doing good.
From her profound faith and her study of philosophy she came to believe that parents should welcome children and educate them, that families formed society, that knowledge of God was the ultimate end, and that a method was needed to enable all people to understand these things clearly.

Although I have often read of atheist families teaching using the Charlotte Mason method, I have been surprised by it--- put simply, Charlotte's inner Christian life and her study of philosophy clearly formed all her ideas about education.

Obviously, we can see that she "pointed towards God" in all her subjects... science, math, literature, etc. And we've often examined how she did that. We also know that she regularly taught Bible lessons.

The tradition of Catechesis is no light matter--- in Catholic circles we know all about the importance of the task. However, in most Catholic families, even homeschooled families, Catechesis is a formal task taken on on Sunday mornings in a religious education class by a trained professional, and often happens rather incidentally at home.

So how did Charlotte, who desired to empower families to teach their own children, formally teach Catechism?

It began in the earliest stages with the telling of stories-- as naturally as possible and in all settings the child would encounter on a regular basis.

While, wondering in amazement at the order of numbers in an arithmetic class. While walking during nature study---

A mother knows how to speak of God as she would of an absent father with all the evidences of his care and love about her and his children. She knows how to make a child's heart beat high in joy and thankfulness as she thrills him with the thought, 'my Father made them all,' while his eye delights in flowery meadow, great tree, flowing river.

These little talks should be quite natural, but they prepare the mind for the seed which will be sown in formal catechesis. Nature Study is the perfect time to do this, but for me, one of the best times has been early in the morning, when we first wake up. I like to spend that time outside on the deck, with the birds, and read my Bible quietly. Sometimes my children join me, and have many questions about what they see and hear!

Naturally, Charlotte used memory work/explanations from the formal catechism. But she also used her own favorite method of presenting the children with living ideas and first-hand accounts of events in the life of Christ and the Church.

In my endeavor to imitate her method, I use both a formal catechism and living books-- chief among them biographies of the saints throughout time and excellently written stories which provide careful lessons about virtue.

Charlotte placed chief importance on the study of the Gospels-- something which many protestant traditions often miss out on in practice, emphasizing the epistles and St Paul's teachings on "righteous living" over the Life of Our Lord.

For Catholics, this is a no-brainer.... the Gospels are the core of our daily meditations.

I should like to urge the importance of what may be called a poetic presentation of the life and teaching of Our Lord. The young reader should experience in this study a curious and delightful sense of harmonious development, the rounding out of each incident, of the progressive unfolding which characterises Our Lord's teaching; and, let me say here, the custom of narration lends itself surprisingly to this sort of poetic insight

.In her PNEU schools, the children alternated between studying the Old Testament and the New. This technique is very efficient to keep reading interesting and to help make connections. As Catholics, we are fortunate to have daily readings in a lectionary-- one from the Old Testament, one from the Psalms, and one from the Gospels. On Sundays, we often have a reading from the epistles as well.

This tradition was continued when the Church of England was formed, so Charlotte also had this "food" for meditation daily. No need to re-invent the wheel, a natural or formal study of these daily readings as depends on the ages of the children puts us in touch with the life of the Church, the community of believers, and with God's Word daily. This is the work of Catechesis!

Two techniques for studying  these might be used: the first is Lectio Divina, which I have blogged about before here, and the second is narration and discussion.

Charlotte explained her ideas about teaching "the things of God" quite clearly here in Volume I:

The Times and the Manner of Religious Instruction.––The next considerations that will press upon the mother are of the times, and the manner, of this teaching in the things of God. It is better that these teachings be rare and precious, than too frequent and slighty valued; better not at all, than that the child should be surfeited with the mere sight of spiritual food, rudely served. At the same time, he must be built up in the faith, and his lessons must be regular and progressive; and here everything depends upon the tact of the mother. Spiritual teaching, like the wafted odour of flowers, should depend on which way the wind blows. Every now and then there occurs a holy moment, felt to be holy by mother and child, when the two are together––that is the moment for some deeply felt and softly spoken word about God, such as the occasion gives rise to. Few words need be said, no exhortation at all; just the flash of conviction from the soul of the mother to the soul of the child. Is 'Our Father' the thought thus laid upon the child's soul? there will be, perhaps, no more than a sympathetic meeting of eyes hereafter, between mother and child, over thousand showings forth of 'Our Father's' love; but the idea is growing, becoming part of the child's spiritual life. This is all: no routine of spiritual teaching; a dread of many words, which are apt to smother the fire of the sacred life; much self-restraint shown in the allowing of seeming opportunities to pass; and all the time, earnest purpose of heart, and a definite scheme for the building up of the child in the faith. It need not be added that, to make another use of our Lord's words, "this kind cometh forth only by prayer." It is as the mother gets wisdom liberally from above, that she will be enabled for this divine task.

A practical example of how to do that might be to consider that you yourself should study the daily readings and the week's catechism lesson ahead of time and be in prayer about ways to instill that information to your children in a natural manner, simply incorporating them in your own wonder and awe as these things become concrete in your life.

Still too vague? I know what you mean. It took me a long time to find a method that followed these principles but also followed a schedule. So here's what I came up with.

Following breakfast and morning prayer, and before chores, exercise, etc, we gather for a Catechism class that lasts about fifteen minutes.
On Mondays, each of my children studies their own level of a formal Catechism lesson (we use the Our Holy Faith series.) They read the lesson, narrate, and we discuss. It's very simple.
On Tuesdays, we all together read from a living book that elaborates on a habit/virtue we are studying and trying to implement.
Wednesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays we read from a living book that tells the story of an event in salvation history or the life of a saint.
On Fridays, we do a simple picture study-- only we study a work of sacred art.

To further simplify our lives, these selections are usually not random but come from our history curriculum, which is thoroughly Catholic and uses living books as a foundation. That way I don't have to teach history later in the day. ;)

In addition, we have a five minute period of recitation each day where we recite together scripture memory verses and catechism questions we are learning and have learned.

Because prayer is the foundation of a relationship with God and therefore effective Catechesis, we observe a family morning prayer time and a family evening prayer time. (We use  prayer from the liturgy of the hours... the official hourly prayer of the church in which we chant the psalms.)

Because Charlotte taught hymns, understanding the profound relationship between sacred music and the learning of sacred things, we learn a hymn together and sing it during our prayer times, memorizing approximately one per month.

As a Catholic family, we also have the benefit of being able to take our children to liturgy often. We don't go every day, but we go often enough either to mass or simply for a quiet holy hour together that my children gain the benefit of regular time spent in God's concrete presence.

In the evenings, usually after dinner, we study the Bible. At this stage, I more often TELL a Bible story than read one, but from time to time I read from a big, beautiful Bible in King James English. Either way, they remain mystified and engaged... asking questions til late in the night, forming their playtimes on Bible stories that rouse their imaginations in the day.

What has amazed me about doing all this is that it knocks out many of the CM "subjects" I want to incorporate: picture study. hymn study. bible. catechism. history with living books. nature study.
This is how our family has begun the difficult and rewarding work of Catechesis, using Charlotte's ideas about the divine life of the child.

20 Principles of a CM Education: #1

I'm following along in my CM study group on facebook with Ambleside's 20 Principles of a CM Education study. If you'd like to join us and have a blog, please post a blog by the deadline with your thoughts on each principle, and then join the discussion either in the Ambleside Forum or in my CM Study Group on facebook.

Today I'll be focusing on Principle number one:

Children are born persons.

 This realization had such a huge effect on my parenting very early on. If you've been following this blog from it's beginnings you will remember that I often felt so completely frustrated by the ultimate Mommy War in Christian circles: the question of parenting "style."

In one corner we have well intentioned so-called "gentle parents," followers of a parenting style called Attachment Parenting which you've heard me rail on time and again. I watched them cosleep and affirm their children and ignore temper tantrums for years and thought to myself..... that's not for me.
It seemed to me that Attachment parenting did great harm to a child, allowing them freedoms children should have to act up or express wishes and seemed to me a breeding ground for selfishness and later problems.I based this not on the methods-- which I liked (extended breastfeeding, cosleeping, expression of affection, babywearing, etc.) but on the results. Quite frankly, most of the children I met whose parents considered themselves fervent adherents of this method were wild.

In the other corner we have well-intentioned opposite of AP parents (what do we call those? Ezzo/Pearl people?) where I have sat firmly and happily for many many years. This camp advocates putting marriage and the good of the family before the desires of the child (highly agree!) and also advocates training and discipline (if needed) to rectify personality problems and bad habits. (agree!)
However, it seemed to me that many of the moms I met who were very verbal about this method of parenting still had children I found questionable in their behavior.And it didn't allow for things which felt natural to me: holding babies. gentle, affirming words (well, maybe not natural, but right!) etc.

I was looking for a parenting style that I felt fulfilled my biblical objectives to train my child in righteousness, but which was a tried-and-true technique.

And while many of ezzo/pearlized children I met who were grown turned out wonderfully, there were some parents who appeared to have used every technique recommended in those books and who really, truly were mystified as to why their children had grown up and walked away from the behaviors they had been trained in.

In other words, the AP families I knew tended to have an abundance of love but little discipline, and the Ezzo/Pearl families I knew tended to have an abundance of discipline but were often lacking in tenderness. There are many exceptions that come to mind, but those were the norms as I saw them.

I'm a very black and white person, so armed with this knowledge I opted for the Ezzo aproach and it worked quite nicely. People constantly marveled that my children were well behaved and enjoyable.
I tried to always remain firm in my resolve to keep them from selfish behaviors and to squash their wills. And I thought I had it made!

Until my child turned five or so and STILL had not outgrown some of her problematic behaviors, like veering towards a meltdown when we had to leave a place she wanted to stay at. What what what?? You mean I had painstakingly done EVERYTHING right according to all my go-to parenting books and my child STILL demonstrated willfulness from time to time? I had not completely squashed that willfulness??
Yes.

It became apparent to me that even though I had all the answers.... I didn't have all the answers.
Which lead me to this idea, this snippet, really, of Charlotte's. Children are born persons. Around the same time as I first discovered it, my husband and I were con/reverting back to Catholicism. And studying the Catechism, which specifies that human dignity -- treating the person, made in God's image--with respect-- was not optional. This greatly affected our marriage. We were persons.  We should treat each other as such.

In Charlotte's philosophy, a child was not a thing, but a person, and as such worthy of every human dignity, respect, kindness, etc.
This was so beneficial to me, because instead of thinking of my child as a machine which I just needed to figure out, I began to think of my child as a person that I needed to enjoy discovering. And also to begin affording them a respect that I had only heard AP people (and my husband, if only I had listened!) preach.

I loved this middle-ground approach, full of tenderness and compassion but also firm and guiding. I think this is part of Charlotte's universal appeal-- that she is both gentle and firm, and also one of the reasons it is so important to read her own work and not just what others have said about her: it's easy to take some of her quotes out of context or to misunderstand her greater meaning. (One of my biggest peeves in life is hearing Unschoolers rave about how they love using Charlotte Mason, who was a very very far cry from advocating unschooling.)

To take it further, the idea that children are born persons is the answer to the greatest evils which we in the Catholic Church daily battle here on planet earth.
Chief among them is objectification-- objectification which leads to abuse, neglect, pornography, abortion, euthanasia, sex-selection, gender confusion and a host of other issues which relate to the Culture of Death.
Yes, you read that right. Charlotte Mason's first principle is the CURE to the majority of the ills of this world.

And it isn't something she came up with on her own. It came to her because of her deep faith. Reading scripture daily and nourished by it she would have often meditated on this maxim:

Master, which is the great commandment in the law?
Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
This is the first and great commandment.
 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.  On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.
-Matthew 22:36-40 (KJV)

I leave you with the thoughts of Charlotte herself with regards to the personhood of Children... thoughts which have provided much meditation and delight for me over the last few years. It is because of this principle that I can say I finally walk that peaceful middle ground, finding a healthful tension between love and affection and order and discipline. Giving children their natural rights as persons creates an atmosphere of education. It frees the children to grow in security and confidence, but also in gratitude and good will. It further enables us to honor that personhood in ALL people around us, because if we see it in children, who are often most trying, we will surely see it in our difficult neighbor, or that challenging family member. Most importantly, it is a foundation for the House of Education which we desire to build over these little persons in our care.

We do not recognise 'Child-Nature.'––We endeavour that all our teaching and treatment of children shall be on the lines of nature, their nature and ours, for we do not recognise what is called 'Child-nature.' We believe that children are human beings at their best and sweetest, but also at their weakest and least wise. We are careful not to dilute life for them, but to present such portions to them in such quantities as they can readily receive.

We are Tenacious of Individuality: we consider Proportion––In a word, we are very tenacious of the dignity and individuality of our children. We recognise steady, regular growth with no transition stage. This teaching is up to date, but it is as old as common sense. Our claim is that our common sense rests on a basis of Physiology, that we show a reason for all that we do, and that we recognise 'the science of the proportion of things,' put the first thing foremost, do not take too much upon ourselves, but leave time and scope for the workings of Nature and of a higher Power than Nature herself.

We think that Children have a Right to Knowledge––Much guidance and stimulation are afforded by another principle. We are not anxious to contend with Kant that the mind possesses certain a priori knowledge; nor with Hume that it holds innate ideas. The more satisfying proposition seems to be that the mind has, as it were, prehensile adaptations to each department of universal knowledge. We find that children lay hold of all knowledge which is fitly presented to them with avidity, and therefore we maintain that a wide and generous curriculum is due to them.
--Charlotte Mason, Vol II ch 21

Headcovering without chapel veils

There have been quite a few emails or comments I've been tagged in lately asking for information about headcovering, especially in snoods.
While I do wear actual snoods from time to time, more often than not I wear regular scarves and tie them in a snood-like fashion.

Like many other things women do, I think this is one of those areas that we can talk about til we are blue in the face, but that ultimately, I never became comfortable with until I just did it, day in and day out.

The majority of the questions lately have been about alternatives to the traditional chapel veil.

Some people don't like chapel veils because they seem too fancy, others don't like them because they seem to hard to use with the baby pulling at them. I love love love chapel veils, but we attend a Maronite parish and sometimes Chapel Veils are a little too Roman Catholic for my mood there.

If you really LIKE Chapel veils, don't be afraid to wear them! Teach those babies not to touch by patiently saying no and not letting them do it.... over and over and over.
And also, please know that I am not beneath wearing a jean skirt and chapel veil. They don't have to be so fussy and fancy and that combo can look really cute when it's done well.

Personally, I alternate all different types of headcoverings depending on  the occasion, but if you're looking for an alternative to the chapel veil,  these are two of my favorite everyday veiling looks.

They are easy to achieve, can be done in a minute or so even if I am getting out of a car and unbuckling kids from car seats at the same time as I'm veiling. My daughters also wear their own headcoverings like this a lot and they love it. You can also dress these up or down depending on the occasion and they use the two most common scarf types so you don't have to go out and buy anything fancy like a brand new snood. ;)

Have fun!

Long rectangular scarf (top) or a Large square scarf  tied in front ( bottom) or in the back (middle).

 

The Jesuit Educational Standard, Calvinism and Charlotte Mason... oh my!

I have recently been studying the foundations of what is called the Jesuit Education, as per the Ratio Studiorum.
Throughout history Jesuits have been famous for their educational contributions to the world. They perfected the art of the Classical Education, and like Charlotte Mason rigorously fought against the mind-numbing fact-imbibing techniques of the day.

I came to study it for two reasons. (a) My husband and I are interested in securing a 100 % Catholic education for our children, drawing from the ancients-- not because we are worried that they will stray from the faith if we don't, but because we know and understand  that the ancients were able to do one thing that is sorely lacking in our modern world: they were able to think.
(b) I am particularly interested in what ways the history of Catholic education affected the ideas of Charlotte's that we deem particularly brilliant. For example, how heavily she was influenced by this idea that children are born persons, a Catholic theological point that, if it were truly understood, would serve as a dissolving agent for the prevalent culture of death all around us.

I also find studying the history of the Classical Liberal Arts education very beneficial for putting Charlotte's ideas into context.

In this case, for example,  I was looking for information about how to DO our short periods of recitation in various subjects (math facts, latin, grammar) in the method Charlotte would have been most accustomed to. I knew that she had her students do recitations. I didn't know what they looked like.

Below is a simple breakdown of the Ignatian method.

The foundation of the Ignatian Method is based on the Spiritual Exercises and the Ratio Studiorum of St. Ignatius of Loyola and seeks:

• To focus on formation, not information
• To have the goal of leading the student to the knowledge and love of God
• To help the teacher/parent train the student's memory, understanding and will
• To train the student to speak, write and act well
• To do all things Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam, for the greater glory of God

Ignatian education is education with a purpose in mind beyond simply filling heads with data. A proper education should:

• Form children into adults capable of being leaders and effective agents for Christ in the world
• Fashion in the student an intelligent obedience to all duly-constituted authority
• Develop in the student a respect for the contributions of the past
• Create competency in the arts of expression
• Instill in the student the habit of orderly thinking, trained by a thorough grounding in the basics and expanded in a literature-based curriculum

How does this work? The three tools of Ignatian education are:

• Self-activity: forms the habit of independent study and interest in scholarly pursuits
• Mastery: tackling progressively more difficult material through learning, repetition, and memorization builds confidence and motivation to keep learning
• Formation: emphasizes development of the whole person--mind, body and soul--to help the student learn to make wise choices in line with the will of God

(I got this simplified outline from Kolbe Academy - a Catholic classical homeschool curriculum provider that teaches using the Ignatian Method.)

Those of you familiar with Charlotte's Methods will no doubt see so many correlations between her ideas and the traditional Jesuit Education-- a true "Catholic classical education!"
Unlike the Puritan "classical"education, which aims to indoctrinate in order to arrive at truth, the Catholic education seeks to teach ordered thinking and the use of reason to arrive at truth.

I've been thinking about the importance of this a great deal as my family undergoes a very..... a very us kind of trial. My husband and his brother are having a disagreement, because his brother has suddenly become heavily influenced by Calvinist theology, and as such is suddenly rather anti-Catholic. This causes rifts and wounds in our relationships, which is unfortunate. I am confident in the power of Christ to overcome these demonic rifts and bouts of strife, but in the meantime I have also been fascinated as I watched the different ways with which they "make their case."
My brother-in-law's method of argument is to provide walls of scripture. He is a scripture hammer-- for each question that arises he provides ten-twelve different scriptures pulled from various parts of the Bible as "proof texts." There is no real method of interpretation, he simply gives us passages that he has been handed as "proof" of Calvinist/Reformed theology, regardless of the context, or seemingly opposing scriptures that exist elsewhere in the Bible. This is what I call the Puritan Hammer method of debate. I personally feel it's a method reminiscent of a toddler plugging his ears with his fingers and sticking out his tongue.... "Neiner, neiner! itissobecauseisaythebiblesayssoandihavetheholyspirit!" And I'm ashamed to say it's a method I've used many times in the past. :/

My husband's method, on the other hand, is to appeal to his brother's reason and ability to think. "Let's first determine who has the authority to interpret scripture," he argues, and "let's look at how these two scriptures could appear to disagree on the issue, one pointing to predestination and one pointing to free will."

In the car yesterday, on our way home from Church, my husband began to discuss the Catechism with our children. Rather than tell them: "Children, we believe this. Say it with me!" He posed them a question:
"Children," he asked. "Do you believe it's possible that God may have created someone to send them to hell?" "Nooooooooooooo!" They shouted gleefully. "Why not?" He asked them. And they began to reason together.... my kids giving answers and my husband asking questions. Only at the very end did he say: "Very good, children, that is truth. God both predestines us and knows all things AND gives us free will to freely choose Him. "

Honor your childrens' personhood by giving them the ability to think. But guide them in logical thinking, and provide them with ample examples of truth-in-action. This is the Catholic way.

There is no hard proof anywhere I've seen that says CM was influenced by these ideas, but she was no doubt very familiar with them.
Other innovative Catholic educators who were her contemporaries certainly took these ideas into consideration (Maria Montessori among them)-- with CM delivering further, clear instruction as to how to give a truly Classical Liberal Arts Education to a child who is born a person.

Certainly the goals and methods appear to have very much in common.
Both methods teach that formation of the whole person is to be prefered over the fine-tuning of just one aspect of the mind, both methods use self-teaching (vs teachers "telling") and allowing the student to grapple with the ideas themselves. Both methods emphasize mastery over covering a lot of ground. Both methods involve re-telling, and competing with oneself to enjoy the satisfaction of learning well-done. Both methods emphasize using the best possible literature (the "classics") as the foundation for all knowledge and understanding. Both methods had for their chief aim: the knowledge and love of God.

As I grow in my understanding of Charlotte's methods, it has been tremendously beneficial for me to dig into the long and sacred tradition of Catholic education, and to understand that these tried-and-true methods really formed Charlotte's ideas about education, which stemmed from her faith in God and understanding of his nature.

Catholics who are afraid of using Charlotte Mason because she "wasn't Catholic" should be studying her work. They might be surprised to find just how Catholic she actually was!

On Character building and habit study and... husbands.

Once every week for some time now, during our catechism lessons,  I have built into our schedule a section of time to study a habit or character quality (a virtue, if you will).

Usually I pick a habit we are going to work on, I find a story that demonstrates a practical application, I pick out a memory verse or two, and look for some opportunities in our day to encourage it... and basta. Takes five minutes.
Seems simple enough, but in reality it has caused me great anguish in my lesson planning. It's a short lesson, but long on preparation! How I have longed for a ready-made habits curriculum!

For one thing, I'm a die-hard Charlotte Mason follower, as you know, and she listed fifty odd habits throughout her works that she found worthy of emphasis. I've gone through several times now and coded bible verses to these habits, read and re-read and used ideas from my favorite, worn-out manual of habits training: "Laying Down the Rails." I use it, but it's all kind of a mess in my head.... each week I have to pull from many different sources to do something very simple-- teach a habit.

There is currently no real habit- training curriculum out there I could substitute in it's place that's as thorough as this one.

And though Laying Down the Rails is epic, it isn't a curriculum. And as such, some part of it frustrates me because it does not contain lesson plans or even a simple format. It's more like a series of meditations for the person intending to instill the habits in another or in themselves, none of which is practical for me in a setting with small children. I use it every day, but my children haven't yet really reaped the benefits of it.

So, my solution for practicality has always been the Duggar's Character Quality Chart, a pdf I've seen wandering around the internets.
I've used it for many years, one character quality at a time, doing memory work or just sharing stories about the qualities.

Yesterday, I was reading a thread in a Catholic Homeschooling mother blog that really offended me, in which a group of women thought it was somehow encouraging to dump on each other's (and their own) husbands. Don't get me started on how common of a mindset I have found that to be among American Catholic women. o.O

Anyways, it reminded me that I just never, ever, EVER want to be like  that. That I really want to honor and respect and serve my husband. And let him lead!

I've always found a few of the Gothard definitions of these character qualities kind of ... off.  And I realized I'd never checked in with my husband about them.

So without a second thought, I printed it up, and marched upstairs to his office real quick with my Character Quality chart, and asked him what the thought about it to use as a formal "curriculum."

He didn't even look at it. Hah!

My husband is always telling me that there is no need to re-invent the wheel, and he is so right!

He maintained that as we taught them philosophy (and learned ourselves), we would find these habits becoming naturally instilled in them-- and us. He also maintained that there was no better way than a hands on object lesson- often found in nature- to do so. "That's the advantage a homeschool has over a normal school," said my husband, who has never read a word of Charlotte Mason's other than the ones I shove under his nose repeatedly. " Remember that if you tell them, they will hear it, and if you show them, they will understand it-- but if you let them do it, they will remember it. You have the opportunity throughout the day to help them do that and learn these things. Especially outside."
"Quit having a committee about this stuff," he said to me. "YOU need to learn the virtues. Then you will be able to teach them."

And wouldn't you know it--- Charlotte Mason had already "told" me this in Volume 2, pp. 182, 183:

“Object-lessons should be incidental; and this is where the family enjoys so great an advantage over the school. It is almost impossible that the school should give any but set lessons; but this sort of teaching in the family falls in with the occurrence of the object. The child who finds that wonderful and beautiful object, a ‘paper’ wasp’s nest, attached to a larch-twig, has his object-lesson on the spot from father or mother”

And this:

“Our constant care must be to secure that they do look, and listen, touch, and smell; and the way to this is by sympathetic action on our part: what we look at they will look at; the odours we perceive, they, too, will get” (Vol. 2, pp. 192, 193).

And this:

“The mother cannot devote herself too much to this kind of reading, not only that she may read tit-bits to her children about matters they have come across, but that she may be able to answer their queries and direct their observation” (Vol. 1, pp. 64, 65).

All this left me thinking I just needed to be more focused myself on learning the habits (like... perhaps... by reading about them, as my husband and CM suggested?  Yes, from Socrates, and Aristotle... and Maybe even in Laying Down the Rails?)

I needed to do better with not just SENDING them outside to do nature study but doing it with them myself. Baby and all! Ditto for being with them as they did their chores, cleaned themselves up, etc.

AND I needed to remember that that five minutes spent in a formal "lesson" needn't be mind-numbing memory work, but instead should contain a quick story, passage, or discussion to fit with the lessons we meet in nature or around the house. Something to inspire in them the desire to achieve habit mastery. Something which I myself understood well, so that I would be able to teach it well.

Some of you may want to check out this new publication from the makers of Laying Down the Rails to do just that. Yep, unbelievable as it may seem--- an email announcing it's availability just popped into my inbox as I was writing this blog post!

Can't wait for mine to get here. ;)

Principles of penmanship